and now it's only records of my memory...

I looked at his face and his eyes were closed, his mouth open in ecstasy.  His face was turned toward the ceiling, his breath harsh, little words spilling out of his mouth, thanking the heavens he didn't believe in for the feeling of being in me.  He wasn't the biggest or the most beautiful, but his heart, his soul, his essence washed over me, filling me with the warm intoxication of a crescendo of feeling, leading to an explosion.  And when we finished, he stayed.  His heart beat against mine, his breath warm against my ear.  I could feel my heart swelling, my mind filling with his name, his voice, his face, his kiss.  Him.  Him.

And then we talked and my heart broke a little.  I didn't say much, but I listened.  I knew everything he was saying, knew that it was true and fair and logical and real.  I understood, I went along, I knew.  And I left, because I needed to leave, because he needed me to leave.

I didn't want true and fair and logical and real.  I wanted crazy, I wanted illogical.  I want grand gestures and steamy nights and bad decisions and stolen moments and walks of shame.  I want romance because we want it and no other reason.  I was morose, I was depressed, and I was tired.  Later, though, when I was perusing Facebook, trying my best to ignore the pictures that people post when they aren't original enough to say something for themselves, I came across something that rang out in my heart.

Two people don't have to be together right now, in a month, or a year.  If those two people are meant to be, then they will be together somehow, at some time in life.

This hit home.   Usually I'd shrug it off as just another stupid thing that these annoying girls share, but I felt this one.

So I suppose now I have hope.  Maybe, just maybe, I will have him someday.  Gosh, I hope it's true.